Fedor reportedly declines UFC contract offer.

Fedor Emelianenko has reportedly been offered a contract by the UFC which also would have been the richest in the company's history: $30M for just 6 fights. Andit does not end there:

- The UFC offered Fedor an immediate title shot

- Lesnar/Fedor would be the biggest PPV in MMA history (we assume), and the UFC offered M-1 Global a cut of the PPV on top of Fedor's purse.

- Fedor was free to wear as many M-1 logoed items as he wished.

- The UFC also relented on allowing Fedor to compete in combat sambo.Despite these almost absurd one-sided contract in favor of Fedor, the heavyweight champion turned it down thus preventing an inevitable collision with UFC champ Brock Lesnar.

Now, the offer in general was one of its kind. It's like offering Stephon Marbury a lifetime supply of t-shirt just to stop his insanity. The fact that Fedor still found a way to keep his senses even after realizing how huge the money he declined is a sign that that we may not see a Fedor-Brock brawl, perhaps becoming the greatest fight that never have been made in MMA history.

What does he want? A stipulation that an axe be made available exclusively for him inside the octagon?

Bloodyelbow.com

Sore Throat? Slingshot a spoonful of vaseline to your mouth

And as we continue to devour Starbury's live streaming, we are treated to a gradually increasing bizarreness that I expect to end in this tune.

Crying, Screaming, and now eating vaseline. Vaseline people. Mr. Stephon Marbury plunges a finger full of vaseline into his mouth and then opens his mouth to show us its all gone just like they do in Rhode Island. This, according to him is a cure for his sore throat.

Nice to know you pal.

Mark Buerhle Sets another record

Mark Buerhle seems to take it upon himself that as long as there are still some butt plugs that keeps on forgetting the right spelling of his last name, he is going to set records.

Today, the lefty White Sox retired 17 straight Twins' batters to break the long-standing record of 41 set in 1972 by San Fransisco's Jim Barr and tied by his teammate reliever, Bobby Jenks in 2007.

Coming off a perfect game against the Rays where he sent 27 batters back to chewing tobaccos in their bench, he dominated the Twins up to the fifth inning until Alexei Casilla walked on the sixth. His attempt to have his second no-hitter was spoiled as Denard Span singled on the follow-up.

Amidst the display of exceptional pitching, he allowed 5 runs in the ensuing innings giving the Twins a win.

Tell you, if Mark Buehrle managed to have two straight perfect games, he might as well buy all of us a granddaddy pendulum clock.

Shaq's WWE foray

Offseason for Shaq means more available time to spend for his antics. In here, he traveled to Verizon Center for a WWE event where he exchanged chokes with fellow timber Big Show.

This is just another evidence that even if the time comes that he's to walk away from basketball, Shaq's name is far from being blanked in the mainstream.

The Stephon Marbury all day experience

Apparently, Stephon Marbury has turned himself into something the net psychological academe would find very convenient to observe. Watching him weep over some Kirk Franklin tune only seems to protrude his lonesome only a pop-up sim clown can subside.

Take a peek inside the mind of Stephon Marbury with his around-the-clock butchering of anything sane. [UStream]

Dana White welcomes Tito back with a smile-on twitter

Is this a portent of another Tito Ortiz appearance inside the six-sided cage boundary of UFC? Actually,this is just Dana White saying he and the Huntington Beach MMA star are cool now after trading barbs and diatribes normally heard inside a warehouse involving a deal gone sour.

But Ortiz returning to the octagon is a "possibility" as according to a radio interview of White:

"Tito just had major back surgery," White said. "He feels good since he had the surgery. So we'll see if he can come back."

At least the beef is off. Time to look for a new one.

Some DJ found a use out of a drazillion "practice" words

Some DJ decided to mash different infamous press con meltdowns and total it into a remix that surprisingly sounds better than any garbage Flo Rida continues to squeeze at us poor citizens.

Allen Iverson, Jim Mora, Joe Namanth-Suzy Kolber and some other folks all contributed their piece of non-sense for this remix-"Press Hop"

White Sox's Mark Buehrle's perfect game

Before Mark Buerhle tossed in a perfect game against the Rays, there has only been one White Sox pitcher that had done it and since that, Halley's comet dropped by our planet just twice. So why the mention of the comet? Well actually, when I think of rare-Halley's C is the second thing that comes to mind being big-peckered Japs the first which doesn't sit well with the subject this time.

Buerhle threw 116 pitches and struck out 6 Rays but no story of his triumph will be complete without a mention of outfielder teammate Dewayne Wise's 9th inning home run robbery at the expense of Ray's Gabe Kapler who seemed to be on his way to spoil a presidential congratulatory phone call for Buerhle.

This was the first perfect game thrown since Randy Johnson zeroed the Braves in 2004. Mark Buerhle joined the Big Unit as the only active pitchers who has a no-hitter and perfect game in their resumes. [VIDEO of the Buerhle's 9th inning ]

Something to watch if you hapen to exhaust yourself looking for that Erin Andrews' peep vid

At last a video that could at least compensate for our cannibalistic cravings over that Erin Andrews' through the peephole vid.

The Jordan Crawford dunk over LeBron is now on leak over the net. TMZ released the video earlier than eBaumnation.com but the TMZ copy is blurry one could actually argue that it's a behind the scenes take of The Great Train Robbery.

Good thing eBaumnation purchased a much clearer video from a local videographer who tours basketball camps like that.

Silly that Nike or 'Bron hid/confiscated/threw/gave to his dog/fed to the shredder/ the video and made a lot of ensuing buzz from the bloggers to serious newspaper columns and then seeing the people around the video now-not one is actually close enough to pull his pants down and stretch his dong up to his ass out of sheer amazement.

Nice dunk though.

Phils on a 10 game roll; Cubs on a 794 years WS-less tradition

The Phillies won their 10th straight game at the expense of a club who hasn't won a WS since Moses was in third grade. Jayson Werth hit a three-run home run in the 13th inning to beat the Cubs 4-1 at Citizens Bank Park. It was the longest streak by the team since a baker's dozen run back in 1991.

Limiting the Cubs with only a run, the pitching of the Phillies is set to be more solid with the arrival of former star pitcher Pedro Martinez and maybe, as all of us have heard 'till our ears gets mercilessly clogged, Roy Halladay.

Chan Ho Park threw in three scoreless inning in a terrific relief job. [VIDEO]

Grade 3 kid tasked to create the Mexican Basketball Web site

A few times when a fish bone gets stuck in my throat, my instinct tells me to be in front of my PC and google down not the first aid but the PBA website instead. There, you have a visual cure. The site actually induces vomiting.

Now, join me as I say goodbye to my online first-aid-cure-when-a-fish-bone-gets-stuck-in-my-throat doctor
and usher in the new specialist-The Mexican Basketball Federation website.

Ryan Howard is now the fastest player to reach 200 home runs

Phillies' Ryan Howard is now the fastest player in MLB history to collect 200 homers by blasting one in the 6th inning of their game against the Florida Marlins. It was the 23rd of the season of last year's NL MVP. Previous holder of the record was Ralph Kiner who did it in 706 games.

Meanwhile in other news, Hamed Haddadi of the Memphis Grizzlies has 48 points in 19 games.

Shaq's Video Tribute for MJ. Beat it with a likeable buffoon Damon Jones

Couple of weeks ago that Michael Jackson died and only recently did Shaq made a video tribute for the King of Pop(ping boys). But why the delay?

Of course, he went to every state to oversee the flock of fanatics audition for the role of his video partner. Piles of people showed up day and night in hope of landing the role even if they do not know exactly what's in it. Whether they become practice dolls for Shaq's future MMA plans they don't care.

In the end Damon Jones got the role for being the perfect fit to play a buffoon. No need for method acting, Stanislavsky shit. Just being himself. It's raining kids!

Dan Henderson's dream after Bisping fight captured on film

Micheal Bisping shitting on his trunks after Dan Henderson delivered a swing that nearly made an immediate eulogy necessary-wasn't enough for some fans to just sit and savor the sweet hush of trash-talk frothing mouth of the Brit.

Fans has used Photoshop to express their cravings for more Bisping ridicules and taunts. Take that you poor Bisping-hating-MS Paint limited-fan!

Prince Charles, George Harrison and a Red Coat uniform. Bisping is as amazing as the Quick-Change duo!

Thanks to THESUN.co.uk.

Lakers withdraw offer to Lamar Odom because Mbenga says so

The LA Lakers had just pulled off their offer to Lamar Odom for contract extension. The offer was sitting on the lap of Odom for a week now and because the Lakers haven't received any kind of response from the other party, Jerry Buss and company decided to cancel it.

Here are the details of the offer from the LA Times:

Lakers team officials, who were not authorized to speak about the negotiations, said Buss offered Odom a deal for $9 million a season for four years at $36 million, or $10 million a season over three years for a total of $30 million.

Odom and his agent, Jeff Schwartz, were looking for $10 million a year over five seasons.

News that Odom is in talks with the Mavericks and Heat could have made Jerry Buss unhappy.

The Heat and Mavericks can offer Odom only the mid-level exception of $5.8 million, but can give him a five-year deal up to $34 million.

It is obvious that it would be more bank account fattening to accept the Lakers offer as compared to the other two teams and if he stays with the Lakers he will have another strong chance for a ring. Also, there are only a few teams that can still burn some cap space to give way to a luxury player like Lamar.

Actually, the negotiation can still resume and Lakers fan can hope that this will not turn into a Marian Hossa circus backfire. Lamar won't like this scenario either: Declining to play for the Lakers and seeing them repeat next year and lastly-having his name a definition on Urbandictionary.com sound like Hossa.

Only that he betrayed the favorite.

Here are the salaries for the Lakers in the 2009-2010 season.

LAKERS	2009-10 salary
Kobe Bryant	$23 million
Pau Gasol	$16.5 million
Andrew Bynum	$12.5 million
Ron Artest	$5.6 million
Adam Morrison	$5.2 million
Derek Fisher	$5 million
Sasha Vujacic	$5 million
Luke Walton	$4.8 million
Shannon Brown	$2 million
Jordan Farmar	$1.9 million
DJ Mbenga	$959,000
Josh Powell	$959,000

President Obama's first pitch made it to home plate. Albert Pujols appointed to a cabinet post

Blame the coverage if you and your bipolar counterpart is still on debate whether President Obama's first pitch before the All-Star game will reach home plate or not. There was no good camera angle to clearly give a view for the verdict.

As I saw it from video below, the pitch was obviously low and Albert Pujols did save the no-bounce-bettors by moving up for the scoop. Clearly a ball.

Albert Pujols might as well be at bat during that pitch and give us a line drive to that camera's lens. Nice!

2009 MLB All-Star Homerun Derby

From Sports Illustrated:

ST. LOUIS (AP) -Prince Fielder beat the hometown boppers on their own turf.

With Albert Pujols and Ryan Howard eliminated early, Fielder won baseball's Home Run Derby on Monday night with a steady power display that included a jaw-dropping drive estimated at 503 feet...continue...





VIDEO
The result in a swing:

Player Nelson Cruz	Round 1 11	Round 2 5	Total 16	Final Round 5
Prince Fielder	11	6	17	6
Brandon Inge	0	--	--	--
Adrian Gonzalez	2	--	--	--
Carlos Pena	5	--	--	--
Ryan Howard	7	8	15	--
Joe Mauer	5	--	--	--
Albert Pujols	5 (won bat off)	6	11	--

Allen Iverson on tears. Note: Not an allergic reaction to practice

Office time and I'm writing this. I don't have a headset, a co-worker with one, nor the audacity to let this one on loudspeaker. The only thing I can do is watch Allen Iverson sob. Why was he crying? Does he now feel guilty of stepping over Tyronne Lue? His favorite sleeves missing? Or is it an allergic reaction to practice? Ah, MJ.

The video of Iverson in front of students discussing his scholarship program.

You 'Gatti' Believe. Arturo Gatti found dead. Wife detained as suspect

The binge of deaths among stars is now approaching the grocery-list zone. It all started with Farrah Fawcett and MJ then Billy Mays to Ed McMahon. Joining the bandwagon later were ex-sport stars Alexis Arguello, Steve McNair and now is its newest addition- former Junior Welterweight champ Arturo Gatti.

Gatti, who was best known with a trio of ring encounters with Mickey Ward, was allegedly killed by his wife-23-year-old Amanda Rodrigues -in a tourist resort in Brazil. Contradictions in statements of his wife lead the police to detain her as their primary suspect.

Rodrigues told the police that it was her who found the dead body of Gatti but could not explain well how come it took her 10 hours before realizing there was a dead body with her inside the residence.

Prior to the incident, she also said there was a fight between her and Gatti Friday night after dinner that resulted the latter pushing her wife to the ground with witnesses reporting the same adding that Gatti was drunk.

Arturo Gatti waas 37 years old and has a career record of 40-9 and 31 knockouts after calling it quits in 2007.

Anthony Parker set to join Cavs. LeBron needs Peter

Tweets are a rain of love to us news hawkers. It's like waiting for a HR. Sitting there waiting for the ball that would prompt Chris Berman's "back, back, back-hits the granny's face!" The last part is improvised.

Ok so here we go, Brian Windhorst has tweeted the rumor slash news (we'll know later) that Anthony Parker is close to signing with the Cleveland Cavaliers:

"Cavs have come to terms on a contract with guard Anthony Parker, the deal should be completed in the next couple days."

And most recently is Ric Bucher doing his own tweeting:

"Cavs fans, you got your athletic wingman. They're close to a deal w/Anthony Parker. Two yrs, under $6 mill."

Does this action makes you forget that lovely Crawford throw-down?

Poor Fans' asses got balls

Photo Courtesy of NESW Sports

Balls this past few days are like heat-seeking ICBMs hunting for any poor fan's ass experiencing a heat wave. A couple of fans has had embarrassing moments of their own as they were on the receiving end of a rear end ball smash.

Anthony Kim's tee shot off the 18th hole on the AT&T National and Mark Wahlberg's first pitch. Take cover.

Two-handed flush on Bron Bron video . Stop searching that on you Tube

We have no idea of how exactly the dunk looks like. We just know that King James gets a two-handed flush from a 6 foot 4 kid named Jordan Crawford .

It was a pick-up ball game in the LeBron James Skills Academy when two journalists were recording the session which includes the dunk by Crawford. The tape could have been an overnight You Tube swag had it not been hijacked by Nike or King James or both. We don't know.

Nike spokesman Derek Kent has released this statement Wednesday:

"Nike has been operating basketball camps for the benefit of young athletes for decades and has long-standing policies as to what events are open and closed to media coverage. Unfortunately, for the first time in four years, two journalists did not respect our no videotaping policy at an after-hours pickup game following the LeBron James Skills Academy,"

Ryan Miller was one of the two cameramen working the recording said that they have been filming all game long without being told to stop until after the Crawford rattler.

We have to feel for this Ryan Miller. His ticket, together with Crawford, to Andy-Warhol-axiom fame got a drive-by shooting journalism sabotage love.

The Ryan Miller podcast here.

Part of transcript here:

Ryan Miller: [The dunk] was good. I haven't looked online to read too much about it. It was as good as it could've been hyped up to be. LeBron's team actually lost two out of three games to these college guys. It was LeBron; Danny Green, the rookie; Christian Eyenga, the rookie; Tarence Kinsey, who's on the team; and one of LeBron's high school buddies. And Jordan Crawford blew by Danny Green, the kid from North Carolina on the Cavs. And LeBron came for some help defense, and they jumped at the same time, and he threw it down with two hands over LeBron. This is, like, a 6-foot-4 kid.

Interviewer: Man. So then, when you get word that they want your camera, then, how did that all break down?

Miller: It's funny because LeBron's team won that game, actually, [the one] with the dunk. And then LeBron's team lost the next game to the same group of college guys. And LeBron was just standing there, grabbing some water, 'cause it was winners stay on, so LeBron had to sit out a game. And I actually went up and introduced myself and said, "Hey, I'm Ryan Miller." LeBron's good friends with Jonny Flynn, and I know Jonny real well, and I was like, "[I'm] good friends with Jonny." Jonny gave me a little message to tell LeBron if I ended up seeing him. He's like, "Oh, where are you from?" I said, "Syracuse" — [it was a] "nice to meet you" type of thing. He's pretty friendly. Then two minutes later, I saw him go over to Lynn Merritt, the director of basketball at Nike, and then he was talking to him for a second, and then Lynn brought me and another camera guy over. We were the only two people filming — it was later at night — and they said, we need your tape. They claimed you weren't supposed to be shooting the college and the pro guys working out, and I was told earlier in the day that you could, and there was no media policy saying you couldn't. It had to have been because LeBron — he played terribly all day, actually. Those three games he played terribly. So my guess is he didn't want anybody seeing the footage. That's the only thing we could think of.

Interviewer: So when you get your camera or tape — so that tape is gone?

Miller: I don't know what happened to it. He originally claimed, well, like, these guys are just getting in shape right now, these Cavs guys. People don't need to be seeing 'em. He was kind of giving me the runaround with different excuses. There was a guy in charge of the media who took my tape, and he's like, "You know what, lemme just pass this by the Nike guys, and I'll give it back to you in the morning." But the next morning, he said the director at Nike actually wanted the tape himself, so I have no idea where it is.

Rampage Jackson will not do this to Joe Rogan

A cagepotato reporter was dry humped by Rampage Jackson as she was interviewing him. The bitch obviously liked the rubbing.

Rampage Dry Humps Cagepotato Reporter - Watch more Funny Videos

A giant leap by Armstrong takes him to 3rd place overall

Christophe Ena/Associated Press

Lance Armstrong proved once more he's still got the balls to jostle it up in the upper tier of the Tour de France standings after 3 stages. He is now placed in third place just 40 seconds behind leader Fabian Cancellara and 33 seconds off from second placed Tony Martin .The resurgent Armstrong benefited from experience when he sensed the wind making a living out of riders just before a corner turn with just 18 miles to go.

“Whenever you see a team lined up at the front like that, you have to pay attention.You know what the wind’s doing, and you see that a turn’s comingup, so it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that you have to go to the front.”

The seven time tour champion was also fined 100 Swiss Francs ($92) by the committee, headed by tour Director Jean-Francois Pescheux, for being late on the pre-stage registration.

100 Francs? Lance could put an autograph on a spoke and sell it for $500. It's even harder to tongue twist "Jean-Francois Pescheux" than paying it.

Armstrong tweeted later his apology faulting Ben Stiller of why he was late.

Roger Federer and his 15th Grand Slam title; And Roddick and his hungry sibling.

The sports web is at abuzz with the 15th Grand Slam title of Roger Federer after his triumph over Andy Roddick. It's not only a battle but an epic one for it lasted a little longer than Prince Hamed's ring entrance. Sorry that's a bit of over the top.

Ok, now the facts: 5-7, 7-6 (8/6), 7-6 (7/5), 3-6, 16-14 with the final set played for 95 minutes.

During the match, millions of people watching live on television, discovered what Roddick's brother-John-do when it's crunch time. Munch on some greens. Yes! Boogers!

Football player pays tribute to MJ by playing dead.

Playing dead as a celebration for catching a 21 yard pass touchdown? Seems ok with CFL's Toronto Argonauts' wide receiver Arland Bruce.

After all, he's impersonating Michael Jackson. Not the moonwalking, child-dangling, umbrella-best-friends-forever, living Michael Jackson but the DEAD MJ.

Bruce said he was making a tribute for MJ by playing dead.

Ok boy, roll over.



ESPN
SportsRubbish

Not up to date thumbnail photo. AKA N.U.T.D.T.P.

Ron Artest's thumbnail photo on his Yahoo sports profile has him still wearing a Sacramento Kings home jersey. Apparently they did not bother to even photoshop it. What the heck wasting some time just for a wardrobe change.

Note: I did not bother checking the profile of Kwame Brown.

Tru Warier to be in Laker uniform next season

Photo courtesy of the LA Times.

So the Tru Warier decided to leave the very troubled Rockets to be Laker. After all those grueling defensive match-ups with Kobe and all those yapping, the two are now teammates. Oh c'mon guys, give each other a hug.

Artest, who averaged 17.1 points in 69 games last season playing for Houston, was dealt to the Lakers in exchange for Trevor Ariza, said he's ok to take a pay cut reasoning that he's no longer after the money. So what's he after? West Coast rapping spree?

Known to be a defensive menace and also a potent offensive weapon, we can see it coming that once the other teams put a double on Kobe, Artest will have an easier time scoring goals than hiking the bleachers searching for something.

Evgeni Malkin is known to skate on cool ice. Offseason wise, he's playing with something hot.

Regular season for Penguin star Evgeni Malkin is all about skating on cool ice. After the season, with his name securely etched on Lord Stanley's Cup, he takes a break from the cold environment he used to be around with and opted venturing on something hot.

Malkin together with his girlfriend-Oksana Kondakova, played it down on Miami Beach. Some more pics from SBB.

TV caller wants to know the weiner size of Ian Snell

One guy caller seems to know everything about sports and to quench his thirst for the very last sports fact that he's yet to discover, he phoned in a TV show to ask JUST HOW BIG IS IAN SNELL"S DICK?

Guess what. No answer was provided by the hosts as they do not have the specific stat for that.[Sports Rubbish]

Two Minor League teams' scores look like its on Mitchell Report

You're given a score figure of 33-18 and asked what sport you think is more likely associated with it. If baseball is the first thing your brain cells generate, you better stop answering questions because you're a walking crime for jocks.

Not this time though, Lake Elsinore Storm beat the High Desert Mavericks 33-18 in a High Class-A California League match. I don't know if they scored every blasted ball to the bleachers the same way a touchdown in football would .

The stats to explain how the two teams produced 51 runs:

-High Desert starting pitcher Nathan Adcock took the loss, going 0.2 innings, giving up eight runs on seven hits, two walks and had a 108.00 ERA for the game.
-Lake Elsinore starting pitcher Jeremy McBryde somehow lasted 4.2 innings, surrendering 13 hits, 11 runs one walk and settling for a 21.21 ERA on the night.
-For those math wizards out there, the two starters combined to give up 19 runs on 20 hits.
-High Desert reliever Jose Yepez entered in the ninth inning. He then gave up consecutive home runs to the first three batters he faced. Then got a ground out before giving up another home run, followed by a double before being taken out. He gave up five runs on five hits (four of which were home runs) in 0.1 innings. His catcher had to be telling the hitters what was coming right? Yesterday’s performance raised Yepez’s ERA to 135.00 on the year.
-High Desert’s pitchers combined to walk 13 batters.
-The teams combined for 51 runs, 58 hits, six errors and 10 home runs.
-The Mavericks had four different players with four RBI.
-The victorious Storm had 33 runs on 32 hits and five home runs.
-They scored eight runs in the first inning, six runs in the eighth and had two five-run innings as well.
-The Storm sent 13 men to the plate in the first inning, eight in the second, nine in the third, eight in the fifth, 10 in the eighth, and nine in the ninth. So they batted around in four separate innings and sent eight men to the plate in two others.
-Lake Elsinore’s leadoff batter Bradley Chalk, came to the plate nine times in the game. He went 4-9 with two doubles, three RBI and two runs scored.
-Lake Elsinore designated hitter Matt Clark went 5-for-6 with two home runs, a triple, seven runs scored and five RBI.
-Storm first baseman Felix Carrasco drove in six runs.
-Every player in Lake Elsinore’s lineup had at least two hits an RBI and a run scored.
-Shortstop Beemer Weems was the only Storm player to not record an extra base hit. He went 2-for-5 with three walks and two runs scored.
-Chalk was the only Storm player to not record a walk.

Thanks to RumorsandRants