Shaq to play Home Run Derby against Albert Pujols

With David Beckham preferring to gut it out on the field with a fan instead of acknowledging the many call outs of Shaq to appear on his Shaq Vs show, The Big Aristotle has a lot of options from the horrors of a beach volleyball game-where he even more terrifies us with a wager-to a friendly Home Run Derby contest between him and Cardinals star Albert Pujols.

Shaq's career average on the free throw line is .528. Albert Pujol's career average is .334. Shaq has been botching free throws way before man learned how to tweet. A free throw wherein he has all the liberty granted by the constitution to smoothly hoist the ball into a stationary basket but opts to rather mortar the Spalding to every part of the basket except through it.

Can Shaq pummel a speeding fastball with a 90 MPH on it to the bleachers? An encyclopedic research of his stats points to the poor catcher having his jaw surgically replaced with an exhumed one.